[Epistolary] A Letter from Adele Rosette de la Reines to Claire Satine du Paroisse

My Dearest Cousin Claire,

Whatever were you thinking?  Ardent Rose?  Clever Silk?  Whatever inspired you to invent such dramatic pseudonyms?  Now, you know that I enjoy a sapphic adventure as much as the next woman, but I do believe that our respective mothers might find such an exchange of affections between we two rather objectionable.  Frankly, given the degree to which your stature overshadows my own, it is doubtful that anyone would believe that our affections are anything more than familial, but you know how our mothers are.  Also, in the future, if you intend to use aliases to protect the guilty, might I suggest that you provide everyone with one?  Armand, I suspect, would be quite put out that you would give me a nom de guerre and not extend him the same courtesy, seeing as how I was not involved and he managed to get impaled through the arm as a result of this particular misadventure.

Speaking of Armand, he is not nearly as upset with you as one might imagine.  Though, of course, that might just be the hashish speaking.  We will see how he feels once his recovery is far enough along for him to return to the public eye.  Considering grandpapa's problem with the milk of the poppy, I must say I am relieved that his vices trend in a different direction.  Though why he believes his hashish is any better, I cannot say.  Given, however, that he is your brother, you are more likely far more familiar with his predispositions and the reasons for them than I.  As for Chauvelin, that pompous, self-righteous ass, you should have told him to go back to his pamphlets and leave the satire to those with the wit to appreciate it.  Considering the number of impressionable married young women my brother has attempted to debauch just in the last month, I doubt that he would know a binding promise if it challenged him to a duel before the palace gates--which seems more and more likely every day.

And now that the necessary familial reports are complete, it is my sad duty, as your self-appointed manager of dramatics, to inform you that your assessment of your journey to Lombardi as exile is needlessly melodramatic.  Uncle Frederic merely wishes someone to accompany Aunt Nicolette while he is occupied with the current court session.  Moreover, how can you begrudge your mother a little bit of company on her travels...no, do not answer that, I perfectly comprehend your feelings.  How could I not, when Aunt Nicolette is so very...her.  But perhaps, while you are with her, you will uncover the truth regarding this sudden desire to visit to Lombardi and the mysterious...what was that name again?  Isabella?  Was that not the name of Cousin David's bride?  Though perhaps my supposition is wrong, after all, she did remarry shortly after his unfortunate demise.  Not to speak ill of the dead, but he always was too quick to take offense over inconsequential matters.  Regardless, you will most certainly be back here in time to attend Mme. Renette's musicale (for which I am eternally grateful, as your presence may be the only entertaining piece of the entire evening) so do not fall too deeply into despair, my dear cousin, for we will be reunited soon.

Yours,
Adele